bookmark_borderDear Mr. Mann – PDQ

Dear PDQ,

Several years ago I worked at ConnectWise and enjoyed a daily stipend to your test kitchen. I didn’t know anything about PDQ prior to my tenure at ConnectWise and was amazed to discover that Chick-Fil-A didn’t have the best chicken sandwich in town, PDQ did. Over the years, I’ve become a huge fan of PDQ, often making it a regular part of my weekend. When COVID hit, I was thankful that PDQ was one of the first restaurants to pivot and make a limited menu available for pickup. My wife and I had been craving PDQ for weeks, and getting our fix was what kept us sane during those early COVID days. Not because of the delicious chicken (that was indeed part of it), but because it brought about a sense of normalcy in our lives, if only for a brief period.

As a Tampa area native, to another Tampa area native, I just want to say thanks.

Sincerely,

James Gamble

bookmark_borderDear Mr. Mann – LaCroix

Dearest LaCroix,

Without you, I am blue.

When I’m thirsty, I’m the… worsty

When I need you, you are there

Thank you for, your peach-pear

Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is crack open an ice-cold LaCroix to help me start my day.  We’ve tried other brands of sparkling water, but they just aren’t up to your standards. Clear American? Bah. Waterloo? Makes me think of Abba. Kirkland Signature? Well, their grapefruit is pretty rad, but everything else SUCKS. You’re the only sparkling water for me LaCroix. If you ever find yourself doubting your quality, or purpose, or radness… think of me, and this letter, so that you will be encouraged. Iron sharpens iron, and we’re all in this together. Except for Clear American… seriously, that’s not a great product.

Have a great day.

Sincerely

James Gamble

bookmark_borderDear Mr. Mann – Jimmy John’s

Dearest Jimmithy Johnathan’s,

Your tuna maketh me swooneth

Hot peppers, join me sooneth

Eating roast beef at nooneth

Delicious sandwich, you are a booneth

Today, in the year of our lord, 2021, I, James Gamble, maketh a proclamation! Jimmithy Jonathan’s sandwiches are the greatest in the land and any scoundrel in opposition to this proclamation shall be sentenced to a lifetime of substandard meat delivery systems, such as Subway.

Cordially,

Emperor James I of Gambella, Baron of Sealand, Colonel of Kentucky, and all-around cool dude.