Month: January 2022

Dear Sensible Portions,

My wife and I are currently trying to transition our one-year-old son to solid food. In that vein, we’re trying out different things to see what he likes. On a whim, my wife purchased a variety pack of Sensible Portion’s Garden Veggie Straws and we tried them for the first time last night. Holy cow! Where have these been all my life? They have the best… crunch out of any chip-style snack that I’ve ever found. I can’t stop eating them. They’re so good! Oh, and our son likes them too. 🙂 They have the consistency of Funyuns, but without all that naughty cholesterol, salt, and grease. I’m really blown away. I just wanted to write a note to thank you for such a wonderful product. This is going to be our go-to snack for the foreseeable future.

If you have any swag (like a magnet or a shirt or something) I’d be happy to represent. If not, no worries, we’re still going to keep buying veggie straws. 🙂

Anyway, I hope you have a great day.

Thanks,

 

James

Dear Aldi,

Do you know what my favorite day of the week is? It’s Wednesday. Do you know why? That’s when I usually get the latest Aldi ad in the mail. Here’s the thing, we buy a lot of stuff from Aldi. We love Aldi’s condiments, salad dressings, snacks (dude, seriously, y’all have the best snacks), cheeses, etc. I love all of that stuff, I really really do. HOWEVER, what sells me on Aldi is your… stuff. Like, non-edible household goods, toys, pet products, or whatever. I’ve found so many great things in your stuff section. Right now, I’m looking at a tiny dehumidifier sitting on the desk that I bought at Aldi. Over in the corner is a little Aldi dog bed that I bought for my Boston Terrier, Rosco. I’m sitting on a gel cushion that I bought from Aldi for my office chair. Your stuff is what makes you… you. If you’ve ever watched Parks and Recreation, Aldi is like the Food n Stuff for me. You have food, and you have… stuff. And I get all my food, and stuff, from you.

So I guess I say that, to say this. Thanks for the stuff.

Sincerely,

James

Dearest Costco,

It’s a running joke in my family that Costco is like Disney World, but for adults. I can’t tell you how many great afternoons I’ve had to wander around my local Costco enjoying looking at… well… stuff. My dog has Costco toys, my son wears Costco pants, I drink Kirkland Signature sparkling water like it’s going out of style, and I even convinced my dad to buy Costco hearing aids. I dream of Costco at night, and I browse the Costco subreddit on Reddit during the day. My favorite piece of mail that I get each month is the big rectangular Costco ad and I build my shopping list based on what’s on sale. The tires on my car came from Costco, the windshield wipers too. When a friend from out of town visits, one that isn’t blessed with a Costco near them, they get taken out for a slice of Costco pizza. I watch that scene from Modern Family where Cam takes Mitchell to Costco for the first time on a weekly basis. However, all that being said, I draw the line at getting a Costco tattoo… That’s just weird.

Anyway, I wanted to write to you about my love for you. Other than my wife and my son, you’re the love of my life. Please never change.

Sincerely,

A Big Fan (James)

Dear Taco Bell,

There was once a time in my 20s where I survived solely on beef Chalupas, Diet Pepsi, and Fire sauce. Now that I am nearing my 40’s (I’ll hit 40 in April), I’m eating all sorts of different things, but I still have a soft spot in my heart for you. One day, several years ago, you launched… breakfast. And it was amazing. I ate a sausage breakfast Crunchwrap every Friday morning for like, six months, and it was my favorite part of the week. When I got married, I dialed down the Taco Bell a bit, but recently (for the first time in several years) had a sausage breakfast Crunchwrap on the way to work, and it was as delicious as I remembered. Also, there’s something about your Diet Pepsi that makes it better than what I can buy in a fountain at a gas station. I don’t know what makes it so good at “The Bell”, but it’s the only place I get it.

Anyway, I just wanted to write a little note to tell you how much I appreciate your brand, your food, and the value you’ve provided me over the years. I collect lapel/enamel pins and I’ve got the pins from your shop on my pinboard, so another thanks for feeding my collection.

Have a great day!

Sincerely,

James