bookmark_borderDear Mr. Mann – RaceTrac

Dear RaceTrac,

A few days ago, I was on my way to the horse track to lose some money on a “winner” named Jolt. I had received the tip from a “friend” of mine named Big Tim, but I don’t think he knows much about horses because he calls them all ponies. I was a little sleep-deprived at the time, so I didn’t catch onto his lack of knowledge, my bad. Anyway, on the way to the track, I needed some gas and pulled into a RaceTrac location that’s close to my house, but I hadn’t ever had the opportunity to check out. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that RaceTrac offers Ethanol Free gas… I love me some corn, but I’d rather eat it than use it to power my go-mobile, if you catch my drift.

I went inside the store to pick up some Monsters and some lottery tickets. I like to pick up lotto tickets (scratchers) before going to the horse track because even if I lose at the track, I usually win something on the scratcher. On my way over to the Monsters, I stumbled across a… FROZEN YOGURT station! AMAZING. And it was cheap too… So cheap that I ditched the idea of getting Monsters and blew my caffeine money on some delicious delicious froyo. I don’t know about you guys, but froyo is like, the best thing in the world. It’s… life-affirming.

I sat outside on a nice bench and ate my froyo and considered my life’s choices. I’d been going to the horse track for years, and Big Tim (who is also my therapist), said “Hey James, you know what you need to do? You need to get one of them regular office jobs. You feel me?” Yes, Big Tim, I feel you, yes indeed. See, Big Tim knows a little about life and how to live it. He also knows a great deal about avocados for some reason. Big Tim is a renaissance man. But, I digress.

Big Tim had a point, I needed one of them regular office jobs. So I started applying and I’m happy to say that after four days I’ve submitted three applications. My life is getting back on track. And all thanks to froyo.

…And Big Tim…

…And I guess RaceTrac too…

Sincerely,

Ya Boo, James Gamble

bookmark_borderDear Mr. Mann – Dot’s Pretzels

Dear Dot,

A few days ago I was at a church meeting with my regular men’s group. One of the guys brought in a fresh bag of your pretzels as a snack, and we were all immediately hooked. At first, the guys were a little cautious. Many of us had already eaten dinner and we didn’t want to eat anything else so late in the day. But we are also really nice and didn’t want to offend the guy that had brought the snack. So, each of us ate a couple of pretzels. I swear on my geography book, every… single… guy… went back for more. We couldn’t stop eating them. We killed a huge bag of pretzels within about 30 minutes (between 7-10 guys) and we were all a little shaken up that they were all gone. We then spent another 30 minutes just talking about how good the pretzels were. Game, changing, pretzels.

I had never heard of Dot’s Pretzels before that fateful day at church and now I have a new favorite snack. Thanks so much for such a great product!

Sincerely,

 

James Gamble

bookmark_borderDear Mr. Mann – Lazarus Naturals

Dear LN (Lazarus Naturals),

Before last year, I was buying my CBDs from another provider and was generally happy with the quality of what I received. I wasn’t super happy about the pricing, however, so I kept looking for other options. I stumbled on you after finding a Reddit post ranking the various CBD oil providers, and you were ranked higher than my other provider. I bought some CBD capsules and was super happy with the quality and the pricing, and haven’t looked back. I’m also happy with the different product variations that you offer. I’ve tried your balms, tinctures, and dog treats (well, my dog Rosco has tried the treats), and am very satisfied with all of your products.

I just wanted to write a little note to say thank you! You’re awesome.

Sincerely,

James Gamble