Month: May 2022

Yo,

A few years ago I was walking through my regular gas station when I saw a new thing on the shelf. It was called BODYARMOR and it had all sorts of good stuff in it, but a lot of sugar. But then I saw BODYARMOR Lyte. And it had a lot of the same good stuff, but less sugar. So I got it. And it was dope. I liked it so much, that I got a few more bottles and gave them to the wife. She thought it was dope. Several months after that, Costco started selling it by the case. It was super cheap, and cheap stuff is dope stuff. So I got a case. Later, my wife was about to have a baby. After she did, she drank BBODYARMOR to help her recover, and her recovery (even though she is an older than average mom) was completely normal. Dope. Now, whenever we’re sick, BODYARMOR. Whenever we dance, BODYARMOR. Whenever we spend all day at a theme park with a toddler, BODYARMOR.

BODYARMOR is dope.

Also, you need a swag shop. I gotta get me a shirt or something.

-Ya boy… J to the Gizzle, James Gamble

Dear Mazda,

At some point in my life, I decided that I was the sort of person that drove an SUV. Previously I was a sports car kind of guy. If it had two doors, rear-wheel drive, and an obscene amount of horsepower, I was game. But one day, I just sort of… cracked, and decided that I should have a car that was a little safer and could fit more than 1.5 peoples. So, I started looking around for a car that was for a dude like me, and one day I saw a white Mazda SUV with black wheels and a sunroof, AND I WANTED IT. After doing a bit of research, I discovered that the car that I had seen was a CX-5 circa 2015-2016. I began an Internet search to find one at a reasonable price. I researched all the various trim levels and discovered that I wouldn’t be happy with anything other than a Grand Touring AWD… And then, one day, I got in… (queue Tron: Legacy music). Eer, one day, I found one…

The CX-5 that I found was about two hours away from me, but my car at the time was a 2012 Ford Mustang GT 5.0, so I got there in like ten minutes… I took it on a test drive, and boy did it drive like a dream. I made an offer on the spot and drove it home later that day. And, I’m still driving it. It’s a really rad car and I feel really safe in it.

So now, dear customer service associate reading this letter, if you’re still there, I have a request. I collect enamel pins and I would like to find an enamel pin of my car. I figured that Mazda may have some floating around for marketing purposes and I would like to have one. I would gladly pay for any shipping. Please let me know if this is doable.

Sincerely,

James Gamble, a Mazda CX-5 Fan