Have you ever been tired
That you wish to be fired
So you can stay at home all-day
Wasting the time away
Have you ever been down
Living without a sound
Surrounded by folks that love you
Ignoring the wall that is see-through
Have you ever been sad
That you are over feeling mad
Looking for some relief
Along with a bit of belief
Lost was another cathartic poem in the wake of losing a child due to miscarriage. I had to go back to work after taking time off to grieve, but I wasn’t done grieving, hence the line “Have you ever been so tired that you wish to be fired.” I didn’t want to think about work anymore because it didn’t seem like it mattered. Nothing seemed to matter, other than the pain and hurt that my wife and I were experiencing. The line “Ignoring the wall that is see-through” is a reference to the fact that, while I didn’t want to talk to anyone about our loss, everyone could see I was hurting, and they sometimes tried to force me to engage. People that loved me wanted me to talk about it, to soothe their own feelings of loss, but I just wasn’t up for it. The last part of the poem is speaking about my loss of faith in a higher power. I just kept asking, repeatedly, “Why? Why this, again?”