Dear Mr. Mann – Aldi

Dear Aldi,

Do you know what my favorite day of the week is? It’s Wednesday. Do you know why? That’s when I usually get the latest Aldi ad in the mail. Here’s the thing, we buy a lot of stuff from Aldi. We love Aldi’s condiments, salad dressings, snacks (dude, seriously, y’all have the best snacks), cheeses, etc. I love all of that stuff, I really really do. HOWEVER, what sells me on Aldi is your… stuff. Like, non-edible household goods, toys, pet products, or whatever. I’ve found so many great things in your stuff section. Right now, I’m looking at a tiny dehumidifier sitting on the desk that I bought at Aldi. Over in the corner is a little Aldi dog bed that I bought for my Boston Terrier, Rosco. I’m sitting on a gel cushion that I bought from Aldi for my office chair. Your stuff is what makes you… you. If you’ve ever watched Parks and Recreation, Aldi is like the Food n Stuff for me. You have food, and you have… stuff. And I get all my food, and stuff, from you.

So I guess I say that, to say this. Thanks for the stuff.