Dear Mr. Mann – Jimmy John’s

Dearest Jimmithy Johnathan’s,

Your tuna maketh me swooneth

Hot peppers, join me sooneth

Eating roast beef at nooneth

Delicious sandwich, you are a booneth

Today, in the year of our lord, 2021, I, James Gamble, maketh a proclamation! Jimmithy Jonathan’s sandwiches are the greatest in the land and any scoundrel in opposition to this proclamation shall be sentenced to a lifetime of substandard meat delivery systems, such as Subway.


Emperor James I of Gambella, Baron of Sealand, Colonel of Kentucky, and all-around cool dude.