Dearest Jimmithy Johnathan’s,
Your tuna maketh me swooneth
Hot peppers, join me sooneth
Eating roast beef at nooneth
Delicious sandwich, you are a booneth
Today, in the year of our lord, 2021, I, James Gamble, maketh a proclamation! Jimmithy Jonathan’s sandwiches are the greatest in the land and any scoundrel in opposition to this proclamation shall be sentenced to a lifetime of substandard meat delivery systems, such as Subway.
Cordially,
Emperor James I of Gambella, Baron of Sealand, Colonel of Kentucky, and all-around cool dude.