Dear Southwest,
A few months ago, me and my buddy Hoss were talking about going somewhere scenic. After some back and forth, we decided to go to Detroit. I’m not sure how Detroit ended up on the menu, but here we are. Anywho, we made the trip a few days ago, and let me tell you something, Detroit was cold, and then muggy, and then cold again. It was a terrible idea to go there in April. However, the trip up? Solid gold. We stopped in Nashville and had some beers… and then some BBQ… at 8:00 AM. It seemed like the right thing to do. I liked Nashville so much, that I almost thought of skipping my connecting flight to DTW so I could sample more of that sweet sweet BBQ, but alas, this is a story about going to Detroit on your plane.
Now, picture this… Me, in all my manly bearded glory, in Detroit, seeing the sights… Taking it all in… and thinking about nothing but my return flight home, through the Nashville airport. Coming home, I get on the plane, I pick my seat… GOLD. I connect my ol’ lappy toppy to the ol’ WiFis…. GOLD. I open up my browser and start watching The Eternals… BRONZE (it was not a good movie). We take off on time… GOLD. We have some bumps on the way… ALUMINIUM (I’m a nervous flier)… But, cheap cocktails… GOLD.
And when I get to Nashville, ERRY ONE gets off the plane, but me and this lady named Loretta… or was it Linda? Maybe Louise? I don’t know. She was nice. Oh, and one of the flight attendants gave me a Diet Coke because I helped pick up trash… GOLD.
I guess the real reason I’m writing you this letter is that I want a model of a Southwest plane. Can I have one? Please? Gimmie?
-James